The receptionist and veterinary assistant made such a fuss over him, ooohing and ahhing while Murray spazzed out running from person to person. He’s always so excited when he gets to make new friends. I sat in the blue plastic chair while the VA rubbed him down, checking his stomach for irregularities.
“Has he eaten anything lately? Gotten into any trash?”
I immediately felt the blood creep up my neck and into my cheeks.
“Well….yeah. I mean we are cooking all the time and drop things on the floor by accident…”
“But has he eaten trash?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at me.
I looked at the floor, then back at her, then at the floor again.
“Well…yes, I mean…yeah.” I stammered like an idiot, my voice an entire octave above where it normally is. She kept looking at me, intently. “I don’t want to talk about it.” I whined.
“It’s ok, just tell me what he ate.”
“I don’t know if he ate it.”
“Okaaay?” Sassy black lady at her finest. The sass was off the charts, but I liked her anyway.
“We caught him..” I was outwardly cringing, “chewing on a tampon he dragged out of the bathroom trash.”
My mind flashed back to last Wednesday. I was having a particularly hormonal couple of days and went to lay down and take a nap. My boyfriend, who works from home was well…working… so we allow the dog out, but no one was keeping an eye on him.
I woke up from the nap and wandered out into the main room. Dog was underneath the table chewing away furiously and boyfriend was standing over him trying to verbally command him to spit it out.
“Whats up?” I mumbled groggily.
“Murray’s chewing on something. It looks like a paper towel with mud on it.”
I instantly knew.
“Get away from it!”
“What?” My boyfriend asked confused.
“Just get the fuck away from it!”
“Just do it!!!”
Back in the Vet’s office The VA burst into a thick, hearty laugh. “I knew you was going to say that.”
I laughed nervously. “Does it happen a lot?” She’s probably just trying to make me feel better.
“No, really.” She said, as if she could hear my thoughts. “Five out of ten dogs in here with stomach troubles we get stories like that, happens all the time. We don’t know why but dogs just seem to go for that type of thing.”
Nearly 200.00 later Murray (who had been vomiting for a few days-not tampon related) is back to his old self again. He even finds time to dig mine (and ocassionally, boyfriends) underthings out of the laundry. It’s one of his favorite games.
I write this because I like to blog about things un-finance related from time to time, and thought it might be funny. All of this stuff with Murray makes me imagine what having a kid is like. Even though they do ridiculous and sometimes completely gross (extravagantly disgusting…) things we spend money and care for them anyway, because we love them unconditionally. Not that I’m looking to have kids anytime soon, Murray and his panty-theiving ways are plenty for right now, thanks.
Has your pet ever done something completely disgusting/ridiculous?