5 Hangover Cures under $5

With the holiday coming up I thought I’d share some of my hardearned hangover habits. Below are some of my favorite and most effective hangover cures. The best part? They’re all five dollars or less and super simple–because on the morning after you’ve got enough to worry about. You know, like trying to find your pants keys dignity.

1.) A sweaty workout-FREE– It seems so cruel, right? The one thing that is going to make you feel better is the last thing you can imagine yourself doing when you have a really awful hangover. The truth is the more you move and sweat the more toxins come out of your body and the better you are going to feel. I used to have a girlfriend in college who would wake up the morning after a party and FORCE herself to run two miles to Jamba Juice for a Coldbuster smoothie. It took me years to see the truth in her actions- exercise really is the best hangover cure. If you feel like you’re going to die and moving from your bed/breathing-without-dry heaving is difficult then at least go sit in a hot, steamy shower and sweat it out that way.

2.) Two Aspirin and a Coke-2.00 or less– Sometimes the glare of the morning sun is too much to take on with the miserable drive home in a hot car and so we need to stop at a Gas Station or some equivalent. Take two pain reliever of your choice and drink a WHOLE can of Coke. The sugar will help your mood, the caffeine will help your headache and the carbonation will tame your tummy. An old co-worker of mine swore by this remedy and I would have to agree with her!

3.)A Glass of Water-FREE-I know, I know. If you are anything like me you HATE drinking water, especially after a big night out. Often times, sipping water will make you feel worse. Do.Not.Sip. Chug (you know, that thing you did with all those beers last night?) three-four glasses of cold water in one sitting. You will probably feel like poo immediately afterward, but in 20-30 minutes you will see a large improvement in the way you feel. You will also really have to pee.

4.) Lavendar Eye Mask-5.00+- . I think everyone should invest in an eyemask, even if only for those hangover days when you need to sleep most of the day in order to feel like a human being again. If you’re feeling frisky pay a few extra dollars for one that is lavendar scented to help induce sleep, or even more for a mask that has beans in it. The extra weight of the beans helps your sinuses out while you sleep and recover. I bought mine from a spa in New York and I love it-best 12.00 I ever spent.The one pictured below is 4.95 on buy.com and there are some on Amazon for as little as one dollar!

5.) Protein and Grease-0.49-5.00 Most heavy imbibers swear by one or the other, but it’s actually both used in combination that can effectively ease the hangover pain. It’s a two step process of both prevention and recovery so repeat after me: “Protein in the evening, grease in the morning.”

Protein in the evening, Grease in the morning!

If (and this is a big “if”) I’m copetent/coherent enough when I get home from the bar I eat a few pieces of deli meat (sliced turkey is fantastic!) or two-three handfuls of almonds or cashews. Something quick and easy to grab is the best for obvious reasons. The protein helps soak up all the alcohol floating around in my stomach as well as counterbalances all of that sugar you just ingested. Just because a drink wasn’t a calorie-loaded cosmo doesn’t mean you didn’t have sugar: that’s all liquor and beer are, essentially. If you are stilling feeling bad in the AM (which you will be) you should have the greasiest, fattiest breakfast you can find-I’m giving you permission-you don’t want to feel like poo all day, do you?! Again, try to avoid sugar like pancakes or muffins–I prefer eggs and hasbrowns from Waffle House smothered with all the butter and cheese I can find. The calorie intake will help with the alcohol withdrawal, the grease will coat your churning stomach, and you will probably be so loaded down with all the fat you can sleep like a baby till 5 P.M. You’re welcome.

As an added bonus-cheese fries at Steak N’ Shake are only 1.49.

Although the cures above won’t keep you from having a hangover they will do damage control and help you get more of your time/money back on the day after a night on the sauce. Have a safe, responsible and HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!


13 thoughts on “5 Hangover Cures under $5

  1. Great tips! I don’t wait until the morning to have the water. I have giant glasses of water just before bed. Sure, it doesn’t help with sleep, but my brain doesn’t feel like a raisin the next morning, either.

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