That makes you question your life at every turn? Maybe it’s the endless and endless miles of nothing, or (depending on what time of day you drive) the illusion you are completely alone. I personally sometimes feel that cars were engineered to let your mind wander and mull over life’s problems.
Last week was a crazy tornado of travel. On Wednesday my Mom and I headed to NYC for one day only to see “The Book of Mormon” with the fan day tickets I won in a sweepstakes. I stayed overnight in Atlanta and then on Thursday went back to Hartsfield-Jackson to catch a plane for Phoenix. Met up with some friends, drove to the Grand Canyon…then Vegas. Vegas is a blast and I’d love to go back, because I still feel like there is more to do, and I could write a whole post by itself on how dang beautiful it is and how much I love (LOVE) dry heat. Yet, on Sunday the city seemed as if it were sharing a collective, massively rotten hangover, and I suddenly had the urge to go home and lay in my own bed.
After Vegas I was supposed to go to L.A.. I just didn’t feel up to it.
I spent the better part of my time in Vegas alone, and while I got drunk, had fun, and won 575 dollars (wheeee!) the idea of being basically on-my-own in yet another new city made me want to just go home and take a nap. Just thinking about it made me exhausted and like I wanted to sleep for ages. I’m happy I came back, and not sad I missed out on L.A, but I’ve been exhausted since I left my old job which was nearly three months ago. Even my parents are suggesting I take a nice, loooong break–but isn’t that what I’ve been doing? And thus I have returned from my roadtrip probably more confused than when I left…but I did manage to learn a few things. It’s hard to travel and not take back at least one thing from the experience. Most of them tie into money in some way (because really, most everything does….) so I thought I’d be brave and share my thoughts and feelings on the site.
1.) I need to go with my “gut” more. I think I did really well in Vegas this weekend because I really listened to myself about what I was and was not comfortable with, and I was strong in walking away before I lost my shirt. Why is it that I am so good at knowing my boundaries when it comes to money but not when it comes to relationships and happiness?
2.) “Funemployment”, as I like to call it, is only fun because I don’t need a job or necessarily have to work at this moment in time. With that being said, my sense-of-self was very much tied into my last job and I feel a bit lost without having that identity, that office, my former co-workers to remind me daily of what I felt like was my value. So to make myself feel better because I’m not doing anything uber-important, I take a trip that maybe wasn’t the best idea when you are funemployed and watching your pennies. I have come so far in recognizing my “spending-when-I’m-sad” issues that I can see this when it’s happening. It’s a step in the right direction, but also a reminder of how far I need to go. I may be able to stop myself from impulse spending on…I don’t know…conditioner or whatever when I’m upset, but I suppose when you’re older and you have bigger problems than you did in high school/college you end up throwing a lot more money at them to go away. It is something to definitely be cognizant of.
3.) When I was ready to come home, I came home…got on a flight the same day and everything. That sort of freedom and feeling of security came from being in a financially sound place (being 400 dollars richer than I was when I arrived in Vegas didn’t hurt either). It really reminded me of my priorities, and how important it is to me to be able to finance the things I want and to not ever feel “stuck” in a tricky situation or in a place I don’t want to be in. So even though my reasons behind taking the trip were a bit misguided, at least I learned a few things from it. And I had a good time, which is the most important part. I hate it when you spend money on things that end up not being what you thought or not very much fun.
I was itching to get home and boot up my computer and blog, blog, blog away. Some people may consider my passion for writing or about this blog silly, but if it’s what gets me fired up…it is what gets me fired up, damnit! And after being idle for a week I have a lot of things to discuss; on the docket for this week is the FINAL ten days of my Ten Items challenge, my road trip expense break-down, and the first post of a brand new “challenge” I am taking on for the next four weeks. Get excited!